Reflections from a Student Affairs in Higher Education Program Graduate: Five Years Later

Kate McCaffrey

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the friends and colleagues who helped in making this article possible. Without many people's input and ideas it would not be the final version you see before you. Though the miles may come between us, the support and camaraderie still remain.

My intent for this article is for it to be a discussion. Really, there is no statistical or research basis for it, just some thoughts and comments from someone who left the doors of the Colorado State University Student Affairs in Higher Education (SAHE) program a little over five years ago. Although I am sure there is a research project here somewhere, that is not my intent, or desire. I invite you to sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever refreshment you most enjoy in this crazy student personnel world, and embark on what I hope will be an entertaining, yet thoughtful conversation.

At this moment, here I sit on my highly suggested/encouraged day off by my supervisor. It has been a little stressful on our campus of about 2,000 18 -22 year-olds since early August. But, whose life in student affairs isn't stressful all year round? We deal with things sometimes on a day to day and a week to week basis. Often our best laid plans are interrupted by a student in crisis or a community issue. When the idea for this article came to mind, I never thought I actually would write it. However, the Colorado State University Journal of Student Affairs Board seemed to think it was worth putting these thoughts on paper. I should know better than to say never. Last time I said that I ended up living in Wisconsin for three years, and that is where my story after Colorado State begins.

This is my reflection on life as a student affairs professional, five years after the SAHE program. I sometimes liken the work we do to that of mountain biking, something I learned to do while living in Fort Collins. There are days when I am moving downhill so fast, it feels like I will never stop and everything around me is a blur. There are also those days when the view is so clear and brilliant, I am utterly amazed at the capability of the students with whom I work. Then, there are the times when I feel as if I am avoiding boulders and stumps in just enough time to save myself from falling off the edge. And, yes, there are rattle snakes in my path, as well as field mice. But somehow, we all learn to live and work in a community together.

In preparing to write this article, I utilized the technological phenomenon called e-mail. I did receive a few responses from some very dear Colorado State friends. Here is what they had to say when I asked them if they were happy with their choice to lead a life in student affairs.

The answer was a resounding "yes." We all know of people who may have left Colorado State at the same time we did who are no longer in student affairs. Those who have left the field said they do utilize the knowledge and skills from their student affairs experience often, only in a different setting. Others who affirmed the student affairs profession had several reasons why they are happy with this choice. One person mentioned his sense of freedom in working with those in academia, along with his opportunity to impact a community. Student affairs is by no means a traditional field, so therein lie many opportunities to go beyond where a "traditional" position might develop. In reference to his happiness in student affairs, one colleague mentioned, "I am in a profession that seeks to develop students into what and who they want to develop into. There are many personal rewards that go along with this work." Another friend's response was very positive: "I enjoy coming to work everyday. I don't know many people who can say that. I work in a dynamic, stimulating, and ever changing environment in a beautiful part of the country. Over the years, it is the people I come in contact with and work with everyday that makes what I do so enjoyable." I agree wholeheartedly with these comments. The connections that a profession like ours is able to create are truly amazing, especially given how far reaching the Colorado State SAHE Program is. Wherever you go, you almost always meet someone who did his or her graduate work at Colorado State University or knows someone there. This creates a very, special connection.

On the flip side, I asked a few colleagues what they perceived to be the most frustrating or difficult aspect of working in a student affairs position. What they said was not at all surprising: being an administrator who supervises professional and support staff positions. We find ourselves having very difficult, often painful conversations around issues of promotions, expectations, and basic work ethic. I personally have had to use the term "counsel out of the position" more frequently than I would like. Supervising others takes tremendous expertise and energy. Those discussions regarding someone's future in a position can be very difficult. It also takes time to be a good supervisor and have those positive, nurturing professional relationships. Fortunately, at Colorado State these types of professional relationships were role modeled, giving the graduate students a good idea of how this aspect of the profession works.

Another aspect that can be particularly difficult is that of conduct, discipline, judicial decisions, or whatever term you may use to identify the process where students learn the consequences of their poor choices. Let's face it, the judicial process can, and does, get ugly. Who could have imagined, that all that time spent worrying and agonizing about Brian Snow's law class would be one of the courses I reflect upon almost daily within my work. The legal issues involved in some cases can be overwhelming. Thank you, Brian, for giving us the courage, if nothing else, to dive in and have a discussion. This is one of those areas where there always is someone to turn to with more expertise than myself. I think we quickly learn to utilize these networks and resources very well, another well-modeled aspect of student affairs at Colorado State.

One of the most difficult aspects for me is the seeming hopelessness of today's student. It saddens me to see so many of our students suffering from so much. I have learned more about learning disabilities, depression, eating disorders, drug overdoses, and suicide attempts than I ever thought I would. On the other hand, it also can be rewarding and reassuring to see students work through some serious issues, and then see them walk across the stage at commencement. This truly is an incredible feat for some.

Arthur Levine spoke at last year's NASPA Conference in Philadelphia. I could truly relate to what he said about the students of today. I run into many who are so hopeless and fearful, I worry if they will make it from day to day, and most of the time with a little help from those of us in the student affairs arena, they do. It is difficult to keep the issues some students are dealing with day in and day out separated from my emotions. Sometimes I think that life would be better if I worked in another profession for a while. A few moments alone, or a conversation with an ambitious student leader can help me gain new perspective that can be so rejuvenating.

Just when I think I have truly made the decision that student affairs is not for me, and that I would have less stress if I worked in a florist shop, arranging and delivering flowers, I receive a note from a student. One note with only a few words, from maybe one student a year, and then I think, "Hey, what I do is pretty cool, maybe I'll stay for a while longer." Yes, I return to that idealism and hold on tight, because I know that what I do does make a difference in someone's life. And I believe the college years are the best time to make that difference.

When I asked my friends if they had any final thoughts about their experiences at Colorado State or reflections from the SAHE program, they had much to say. "I look back with a tremendous amount of fondness. A happy, yet challenging time," one friend said. Another colleague stated, "My graduate years are still the best of my young life. I grew up a great deal in two years, and feel I was prepared in entering my first full-time professional job. I had excellent colleagues, supervisors, and advisors who trusted, encouraged, challenged, supported, and cared about me. A feeling I have not experienced since leaving Colorado State. And I realize that was a very special time."

I agree. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about Colorado State and the people there in some respects. Whether it is a fond memory of life outside the perennial classroom, an advisor or supervisor, or thinking about how someone from a class or setting at Colorado State might react or respond given my particular situation. The SAHE program is a very special experience. It prepared me for life in the administrative world; to leave its doors and suddenly travel three states away and go from being a graduate student to a supervisor of a graduate student was quite a challenge. Oh my, those first few months in that new position. I think about that feeling so often in my daily work. As Tom Hanks said in the movie A League of Their Own: "It's the hard that makes it good." The hard does make it good. It is through the difficult and challenging times that we grow the most. I think about the SAHE Program in ways that I hope I always will think about it. I do not want to become an administrator who stays in a position for twenty plus years, turns cynical, and becomes trapped in the politics of it all. I hope that all those reading this also will believe and remember what the SAHE Program does and can do for student affairs professionals world wide: prepare and teach good student affairs practice.

Regardless of when we graduated or where our professional travels have taken us, I hope we can look back and gain perspective on our daily lives by reflecting on the time spent in student affairs. The work we do as student affairs professionals is valuable and important to many on our campuses. Let us remember this, and return to the basics of what we learned, sometimes muddled through, and frequently discussed during our time in graduate school. Our foundation at Colorado State was solid, and for that we will be forever thankful.

Kate McCaffrey ('93) is the Assistant Director of Residential Life at Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, New York.